Having Your
by KittyMayhem
Summary: Some things just can't be explained. Like how Kuno managed to do the one thing that no one was expecting; Claiming Ranma Saotome for himself. MPREG people! Ranma/Kuno Sap, Angst, OOC Turn away now if you can't take the heat!


Having Your...

Standard disclaimers.

Okies, people...this is not your normal pairing. DO NOT FREAK! If you should find yourself short of breath, gasping for air, and clutching your shirt unable to look away from the screen...SCREAM and run as far away as you can! Otherwise...

Nice knowing you.

* * *

**Part 1:** Coming to **terms**

_There was just something about watching your lover day in and day out that was magical. To him, it was finally being able to find the best view of the sunset and freezing it for all eternity. After chasing it for so long and watching it escape by the tips of his fingers each night, he had finally grasped it and ravished it in a moment he could not take back, nor wanted to. From the moment it was in his arms, he didn't care if the very world around that phenomenon burned him for what he had done...as long as he had a chance to love something of his very own, it would be worth it._

_Yet never in a million years would he have thought it would come to this._

_"Would you snap out of it?" his sunset screamed at him desperately, "I'm trying to explain something..."_

_He shook his head a bit and rested his tired blue gaze upon the young man sitting before him. He had expected a pretty young woman to be in that man's place, sitting like him at that very moment, but this was the complete opposite of his imagination. For a very long time now, he had dreamt that it would be one woman in particular, but this woman was always twined within the arms of his rival in a strange manner. It wasn't something of an agreement as he began to see, for with every sight, he noticed that her hands were never to be found. For a while he thought that his rival held something over her that bound her hands out of his sight. It could have been something of the like in another world, but not here. As he could clearly see even now as he looked upon this young man sitting here before him, she clearly had her hands....and they were buried within him. She had a hold of him, and she was never going to let him go._

_Her presence was clear in the shape of a rotund belly sticking out of the young man's shirt._

_"Did you hear anything I said?"_

_It was her doing that brought them here to this moment. He nodded lightly to keep himself from falling over with the weight of the news he had been given. The young man, his rival, tried his best not to squirm under the silence of his heavy stare. Stare he did, at that woman grinning ever so softly, fading with time the longer he saw the worry within his eyes. He could not help but to hope that she would fade and this would be nothing more than a dream. However, the slight sniffle of this young man snapped him out of it and he was forced to think about it..._

_"....What...now?"_

_...and come to a decision._

_Sighing heavily, he remained silent a moment longer. Somewhere along the line he had known and sought not to forget. There was something about him that made it all the more intriguing when it came to the chase. Catching him was the triumph only one could obtain, but it was a bittersweet moment littered with fierce intoxication. Celebrations from the earlier night had aided in the removal of their masks, and seeing the other as they truly were have forced them into this moment. Yet still, he would not take back this or any moment. It was something fated to be, something that he and he alone would accomplish. No one would dare to stand in his way, not after he was finished. Yes, playtime was over._

_"Ranma..."_

_"Hn?! Y-yeah??!"_

_"Do you want it? Truly? Because I can't say or do anything if you are unsure."_

_"What do you mean by that?!" he screamed. "I waited this long to tell you so I guess that's saying something isn't it?!"_

_"Yeah...but you knew about this for a month...a whole fucking month," he growled. His growl was unexpected, and so was the anger whelming within him. It was enough to shock the young man out of his defenses and plant him in that spot with actual fear in his eyes. Good. That fear needed to be shoved there. "A WHOLE MONTH!!"_

_"What was I supposed to do?!"_

_"TELL ME!! God, was it that fucking hard?! Were you that unsure or were you trying to get rid of the LAST THING?!"_

_"I...it's not like that...IT ISN'T!!"_

_"Then what?!"_

_"I...I wasn't...."_

_"You weren't what?! DAMN IT, SPIT IT OUT!!!"_

_"I wasn't sure If I could handle it!!" he screamed, wailing as he brought his hands around himself. "Damn it Kuno...I can't do this...not by myself..." He sobbed heavily as he sank forward hoping to find the cool warmth of the wooden floor beneath him. He fell, but he landed in the warmth of two arms reaching out to pull him in and embrace him with the one thing he had run from. He willingly leaned into it, forgetting his sorrow the moment he felt the overwhelming aura of his rival surrounding him from the inside, out. "I can't do it...alone..."_

_"You won't have to," he whispered against him. "But you had better not...run away from me again. If you do, I swear I'll hunt you down and drag you back. You won't get away from me again...Ranma Saotome."_

* * *

Ranma Saotome was acting weird.

At least that's what the Nerima gang thought.

Through out the whole week, not once had a fight broken loose within the district of Nerima. Ranma was no where to be seen as the chaos would build, and it would never escalate past a loud argument between whoever was getting into it that day. Eventually those died as well, and soon it was nothing more than a mutual agreement to wander about aimlessly. With no one there to fuel the fire, there was no point in even trying to kill each other for sport.

Which led almost everyone who was involved within that wild horse's life to wonder...

The roaming rival Ryoga Hibiki sat within the yard of Akane Tendo, tapping his chin aimlessly. Aside him was the Amazon, Mousse, idly wiping his glasses clean with a rag from his robe. A soft wind invited them to play within it, to spar and spark up the appearance of one Ranma Saotome, but he wasn't here.

He wasn't anywhere.

It began with a local walk into town to see if he would run into the martial artist. At first he was lost like always, but soon he found himself walking in the actual direction of where his mind wanted to go. That was weird enough as it was, but then he ran into Mousse...who happened to be walking about without those glasses of his. To make things even stranger, when they met up, they both asked the same question.

"Have you seen Ranma?"

Hours later, they had gone through every spot that the young man loved to visit. They looked high, low, inside, outside and everywhere between...but there was no trace of him. NONE! In desperation they both trekked back to his residence, where much to their utter dismay, Ranma was nowhere to be found.

"Where the hell is that idiot?" a familiar Tendo sister uttered in annoyance. "He should have been back by now..."

That was the third time she had said that upon this hour. Who knew how many times she had said in the previous hours added amongst themselves. Rolling their eyes yet again as the youngest trekked through the house grumbling to herself in worry yet again. They couldn't blame her for her worry though they were sick of her trying to cover it up. Everyone was worried...well everyone except Happosai, who was out raiding the yards again. It wasn't like Ranma to just up and vanish and not say anything to anyone about it. Whenever he was going away, chaos followed and somehow everyone wound up in the middle of whatever he was doing. Yet, now that he wasn't around...

"Hey, does anyone want to play a round of Shogi?"

Life was very boring.

Ryoga shook his head and Mousse sighed to himself, nearly falling on the lost boy in complete boredom. He quickly straitened himself out, but another moment of waiting had him napping lightly on the nearest thing. It just happened to be within the lost boy's embrace, as he had yawned while stretching himself out. He let his arms come back down as Mousse fell against him and found himself holding a man on the verge of sleep.

"What the...?!"

"Shut up and stay still," Mousse murmured. "I'm sleepy..."

"That's what a BED is for!!"

Mousse only made himself a little more comfortable and sighed. "You're as close as it gets."

Ryoga blinked in disbelief as Mousse actually dozed off. How the hell did he always get into situations like this?!

"God, this is all your fault Ranma," he muttered to no one in particular. He yawned lightly again and slumped against the tree they were sitting against, giving into the bout of sleep that was about to take him. "If you were here...he wouldn't be sleeping on me..."

"Yeah, he'd probably be sleeping next to you under a nice soft blanket after a round of relieving sex..."

"Yeah....he always did make my dick hard..." he sighed lightly. "I---wait a minute!!"

Light laughter from above cleared the clouds that seemed to have settled upon them. He shook Mousse and himself free of the sleep only to find the person they were looking for giggling behind another. They shot up like weeds and broke out the weapons, but the other in Ranma's front took out his own to hold against them.

"What the hell?!" Ryoga cried. "Get out of the way Kuno!"

"No."

Was he out of his freaking mind? Apparently so. He took a moment to dig his heel into the ground below him and raise his weapon of choice--another surprise--a little higher than before. Mousse and Ryoga slackened their stances a bit, not used to seeing Kuno act that way. What the hell was his problem??

"If you want Ranma, it'll have to wait," Kuno growled. "No one is getting past me or my weapon of choice."

"What the hell is your issue??" Mousse asked curiously. "I thought you wanted to defeat Ranma as much as we did!"

Ranma blushed slightly as Kuno looked back at him with a smirk. "I've already done that."

".....SAY WHA?!"

"You liar!! There's no way that Ranma would have let you beat him!" Ryoga cried. "You've been beaten the worst out of all of us, so how the hell could you pull off something like that?!"

Kuno slackened his stance and sheathed the Katana he wielded. The moment the sword should be placed away, Ranma walked forward to stand before Kuno with slightly redder cheeks than before. He turned to face him, grabbed him by his cheeks and pulled his face down to meet his.

"OH MY GOD!!"

"Please tell me you're using tape..." Ryoga howled holding his head. "I'm not seeing this!!"

Swept up in the moment of that kiss, Ranma never noticed as Kuno literally swept him off his feet. The man was crazy, completely insane for even suggesting this, but there was no other choice. Kuno relinquished the kiss with a bit of reluctance, and only set him back down when he was sure that the others were numb to their initial shock. Oh, they had to be screaming within, but it was nicer no to hear it aloud.

"Did you see any tape?" Kuno asked. "Ranma??"

"Oh stop it already," Ranma admonished with a light punch. "You're freaking them out a lot..."

"Freaked out isn't the half of it," Ryoga mumbled. "I don't believe this..."

"Believe me, I couldn't believe it either," Ranma mumbled.

"....okay....so Ranma is gay....and dating Kuno..." Mousse breathed. He gasped in the same instant and held his head with a groan. "....the world has to be ending..."

"Come on, there's got to be more to it than this," Ryoga suggested. "But what is the question..."

"What else could there be?! Ranma is DATING Kuno! Isn't that enough??!"

"Well...now that you mention it..."

Ryoga and Mousse snapped their heads toward Kuno and his held up hand. Their eyes locked on the left limb, shrinking when they noticed the ring shimmering under the afternoon sun. Unable to break the trance of that moment, they unconsciously followed his hand toward Ranma's left, which was resting upon a slight bulge under his shirt. It was only then did they notice the matching accessory and the lights shun upon the hidden message delivered under a smirk.

"You knocked HIM UP??!"

Kuno relished in the moment, much like Ranma knew he would, and placed his other hand over the same bulge. There was nothing like watching your friends/enemies as their jaws unhinged themselves and their eyes rolled up in the back of their heads. "You...could say that..." he chuckled.

"It wasn't planned this way, just so you know," Ranma mentioned under very red cheeks. "I didn't think that..."

"You could be knocked up?!" Ryoga leered. "Um, hello?! Does being HALF a GIRL ring a bell??"

"You idiot! We only had sex as males!! I never had sex with him as a female and I never will!"

"Ah, that fair maiden will stay a virgin I'm afraid," Kuno sighed. He wasn't the least bit sorry about it though. In a strange way he had her to thank, but for the life of him didn't want a thing to do with the female that had done this. It was a strange situation, and an even stranger conception...but what was done was done. She had yet to fade from his line of sight, but as time went on, she and her host seemed to merge a little more every day. That only led him to wonder what would become of Ranma at the end of this, and just where would she vanish?

"So, how far are you?" Mousse asked softly. There was a sudden warmth to him, a strange feeling of complete content and happiness that no one could truly place. When had his animosity shifted so, and why was he so happy about this all of a sudden? "You look like you've been baking that one for a little while..."

"...about four months," Ranma answered, a small smile gracing his lips. He unconsciously rubbed the beginnings of the slight bulge hidden beneath his shirt, his mind wandering over the awe still looming within his mind. It was a strange situation, one he had been once uncomfortable with. Yet now as he thought about it and all that had transpired within the last few days, he realized that it was only because he was fighting his own feelings. "We're not even sure of what it will be," he mentioned quietly. "I know he wants a son..."

"I'll be just as happy with a daughter," Kuno smiled. "I'll just teach her how to use the broad side of a sword in the correct manner..."

"Upside any man's head," Ryoga laughed.

"Damned strait!"

"So what are you planning to do about this little mess you have here?" Mousse asked. The light atmosphere quickly increased its weight and sat heavily upon the shoulders of one Ranma Saotome. "You can't hide something like that and not risk anything bad happening..."

He was keenly aware of that, so much so that his arms instinctively wrapped themselves around his slightly protruding waistline. It had been hard enough hiding something like this so far, but the further along he got there was that much more of a risk. Any number of things could have happened, and there were one too many dangers hanging about for him not to be cautious. Being the hot item within this strange school of sorts, there was always a fight waiting within the distance. He owed a lot of it to his own flesh and blood, seemingly nowhere to be found at this point. Much of what he was involved in now was because of a promise that he did not make, yet had to honor for the sake of tradition and such. Yet, nothing about this place was traditional. Not if one counted chaos as a daily factor of life.

"Don't you worry about that," Kuno exclaimed suddenly. Ranma's head jerked up from his thoughts in time to rest in the loving hands of a former rival. He smiled ever so slightly and rested himself in the ready embrace that had begun a lot of this. "You'll be fine..."

It was hard to believe in something like that, but he nodded quietly. There was nothing that could ruin this soft moment...

"Ranma?!!"

...nothing other than the daily chaotic nature of the one who triggered most of his misadventures. He lifted his head up in time to see the lingering confusion upon that girl's face even as she went from docile to complete BULL in a matter of seconds. Yet she didn't have her eyes set on the red of his shirt. No, quite far from it in fact. By the time he realized just who her gaze was on, he had forgotten why until that unsettling moment. He was shoved out of the way and placed in the care of the others just as two strangely similar worlds collided.

"What the---!?"

The hammer met its match in the wooden bokken. To say that jaws weren't agape then and there would have been a nice fat lie.

"Not this time Akane Tendo," he snarled quietly. "Not this time..."

There was a loud snap and then a massive crack that echoed off of the still air. The top half of that hammer went sailing into orbit and the rest was left in her hands as nothing more than a useless stick. Even with that much left it was still a little too much of a danger to leave unattended, so the sword sliced that in half in one flawless strike. Three seconds later the stem of that hammer sliced itself in half. The top half of that useless stick fell to the ground with a sickening thud alongside the pride that the girl harbored usually. It was a little too much to swallow on this occasion that someone had beaten her; forget the fact that it was someone she beat up on a daily basis. He stood there with both metal and wood gleaming within the sun beating down upon them, glaring at the very one he so desperately wanted to date...

"I c-can't...believe this..." she muttered. "K-kuno?! Of all people?!"

Kuno said nothing in response. He simply placed both weapons away and turned to the stunned faces of the Tendo family and a panda. A quick tea kettle of hot water quickly remedied that panda and there stood Genma Saotome, jaw agape like his long time friend Soun Tendo. Kasumi stood by with the kettle in hand, her eyes fixed on the spot where the top part of the hammer had finally landed in the distance. Nabiki was lost between staring at him, Akane, and trying to figure out just what the hell went wrong there. It was just as well.

"Well, we only came here to get some of his things, but I suppose we could get it all..." he mused. "Ranma??"

"Hmm?"

"Shall we?"

Ranma nodded and took his hand. A collective gasp was heard when he was pulled close, and a scream pierce the silence of that moment when he happened to lower his lips to Ranma's.

If she was screaming now, then she was going to have heart failure in about three minutes.

* * *

"A grandson??!"

Well, that much he had been expecting. No normal person would have just sat there once they told them that news, but he sure as hell wasn't expecting him to jump up like he did unless it was to fight him off. Granted, his hand was gripping the handle of the wooden weapon but it slackened in disbelief the moment the fans came out.

"I'm going to be a grandfather after all!" he screamed in pure joy. "Oh! How I longed for this day!!"

To say that this was completely unexpected would have been an understatement. No one was looking to see a grown man like Genma Saotome leap up and dance a dance of celebration, least of all the party in question. Ranma's jaw remained unhinged for a split second longer than Kuno's before the embarrassment of that moment finally hit them hard. Ranma groaned into his hands and Kuno looked to the ceiling in disgust. If anything, he should have been the most angry of them all!

Well, it wasn't a total lost. At least they didn't have to deal with him now.

Genma stopped his celebrating long enough to sit down and reach across the table to grab their hands. He held them to his face with a light wail of bliss, sobbing like the big baby Tendo happened to be most of the time. "I can't believe that you've finally blessed me with a grandchild!" he cried. "I thought I'd never see the day!"

"Would you stop it old man?!" Ranma groused. "Jeez, it's not like I planned this!"

Genma sobered then and there and looked him dead in the eye. "Well, shit...did you honestly think you were going to get anywhere with Akane?" Ranma's jaw fell for a second time as his father snorted and fell back with his arms crossed. "I sure as hell wasn't betting on THAT to work," he muttered. "If it did, I would have had to have your head examined!"

"W-What?! WHAT the HELL do you mean by that?! YOU'RE the one who was pushing me to marry her!"

"I was also the one pairing you up with a bunch of other fiances you dolt. Didn't you get a clue?!"

"...you're fucking sick, you know that?"

"I know. Someone had to tame that wild nature of yours...but I sure as hell wasn't counting on YOU to do it," he sighed looking at Kuno. "Of all the dumb luck...how the hell did you manage that?!"

"That's what we'd like to know!" everyone else screamed. "HOW?!"

Kuno rubbed the back of his neck absently. "If I told you, you wouldn't believe me," he sighed, "and besides...does it matter? Why the hell would I tell anyone else how I gained Ranma Saotome? Do you think I'm a fucking idiot??"

"I think you have something over him..." Nabiki mused. "And it's only a matter of time before it reveals itself..."

"I have nothing over him except the fact that he is carrying my child and that I am his husband. Anything else is irrelevant to what I have managed to gain. This is an opportunity NO ONE else is getting aside myself. I'll be damned if anyone even thinks about it!"

Someone was getting a bit overprotective. Nabiki dropped the subject wisely, not wanting to see the other side of Kuno that she had only met today. How the once bumbling idiot managed to overcome one of his greatest rivals was still too much of a shock to contemplate entirely. This same man who used to be beaten to the ground every time Ranma came into his line of sight was now Ranma's husband??

Wait a minute...

"Y-you...you said...HUSBAND?!" She blanched visibly and blinked between looking at both men. Ranma held a small smile on his face as he settled against Kuno, a hand over the slight bulge that everyone seemed to notice then. Kuno's came to rest over it, gently twining their fingers over the new life that had yet to be. It was enough to reaffirm what they had been telling everyone from the beginning, and the light kiss he left on his head was almost too much for some of them to handle. Nabiki blushed horribly and looked at Genma nodding in approval.

"Well, what's done is done," Genma sighed. "All for the best I suppose. Good thing too..."

"And why would you say that?"

"It's like I said! I wasn't planning on THAT arrangement to work. Can you imagine the damage?!"

Nabiki, Kasumi, Ryoga, Mousse, and surprisingly Soun Tendo nodded their heads in agreement. Akane looked at them all in pure shock. Were they all out of their minds??

"What the hell do you mean by that?!" she cried angrily. "What, you weren't actually serious about the arrangement?! After all the crap you went and put us through?!"

"Well, I wasn't counting on it to really happen," Genma answered truthfully. "In fact, all I really wanted out of this was a grandson, that's all. I got it, and Soun got to keep his dojo in tact as well as your innocence...so...it all worked out in the end."

"So what was all that crap about running the dojo?!"

"it was just a means to make things run a little faster," Soun replied. "I thought I would never have a male heir to run the dojo, but now that I think about it, you're as close to a son as I'll get. As far as fighting goes anyway," he replied quickly when he saw Akane's face heat up. "I think you're more than capable of handling it yourself."

"The only thing is...you're a bit on the violent side," Ryoga mentioned. "Real quick to smack someone even if it was an accident..."

"Ryoga!"

"What?! All I'm saying is that you've got the temper of a bull...not that it's a bad thing but...come on! Do you really think guys want anything that will smash them into the ground??"

"Well I refuse to be the weak minded girl everyone wants me to be!"

"Which is WHY you're a tomboy," Nabiki said. "You've got to control that temper of yours or else Kasumi here will be the only one having children."

"And the reason behind YOU not having children??" Akane growled.

"Because no man can afford me."

As scary as it was, she did have a point. Akane snorted and leaned on the table grumbling to herself. Just when did this become pick on Akane day? Still, there was something about this that seemed a little funny. Why was Genma so adamant about having a grandchild? What did he have up his sleeve??

"So what are you going to do about the other nuisances in this picture?" Ryoga asked Ranma. "You've got one thing under control, but you've forgotten about the Amazon bimbo and Ukyo...not to mention Kodachi," he said looking to Kuno. "That nutcase you call your sister will literally flip!"

No one was looking to see Kuno's face light up with a smirk that was likely to rival his very own sister. Ranma smiled to himself and hid the grin he was sporting behind his hand. He couldn't help but snort a little, which only made the curiosity levels jump much higher. What the hell was going on??

"You don't have to worry about my sister," he coughed lightly. "She's....been warned not to mess with Ranma."

"Do I even want to know what you did to make that threat stick?" Ryoga asked canting a slight brow. "Something tells me that whatever it was, it was extreme..."

They didn't know the half of it. "Never you mind. She won't be bothering Ranma. As for the Amazon and Ukyo..."

"Don't you worry about Shampoo," Mousse said looking at Ryoga. "I know how to get her off of Ranma's back."

Ryoga leered at Mousse and leaned a little closer to him. "Without killing her?"

"Yes...as much as it would bother me NOT to...but I have a plan. All I have to do is tell the old ghoul what's going on..."

"You're sure that's wise??"

"Well...she's only going to come after Kuno...and from what I've seen, he'll kick her ass. Once her ass is KICKED by KUNO of all people, she'll be so freaked out that she'll have no choice but to go home."

"And you? What will happen to you?"

Mousse grinned lightly and placed his forehead against Ryoga's. The very hands that wielded some of the most dangerous weapons within those robes came to rest themselves on the side of his face, gently tracing his rugged features with the sides of his thumbs. His grin faded into a tender smile soon matched by the lost boy's as his hands came to rest over Mousse's. "I'm stuck here with you," he whispered. "I'm not going anywhere."

Akane just about died then and there. Nabiki blinked for the second time that day. Kasumi smiled like she usually did. Soun and Genma just looked at the other and shrugged. It couldn't get much weirder than this.

* * *

"Oh! Ran-chan, look at these!" she exclaimed excitedly. "Little martial arts outfits!"

"Really?! Let me see!"

Ranma scrambled to where his best friend happened to be sitting with an open baby book. Kuno looked up from his meditation in amusement only to shake his head at the laughter coming from the two. He never would have guessed that they would be sitting there at this point, looking through something like that unless they were the ones expecting. It turned out much differently than most would have expected, and for once he was glad that he was wrong about a lot of it.

When they had said it couldn't get any weirder, they were highly mistaken.

A whole month had passed them over since the incident. By incident, they were pertaining to the fact that everyone they knew at that point found out about the union between Ranma and Kuno. Then there was the slight fact that he was about four months pregnant then. They were prepared to leave and start over if necessary, but that proved not to be so. In fact, he found himself mediating in the living quarters of the Tendo household, occasionally listening to the idle movement of the others moving about. Most of his attention was on Ranma of course, but he couldn't help but notice the others.

Ranma happened to be engrossed in a book of baby things hoping to find some of what they would need. They still had a whole four months to really look and prepare, but Ranma was looking to take no chances. Aside him aiding him in his quest for the perfect means for their baby was of all people, Ukyo. Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought of the female chef being where she happened to be sitting, but she was, and she was enjoying herself. Breaking the news to her was a lot easier than they thought, although she did threaten Kuno with that overgrown spatula of hers. The threat was a valid one, one he took to heart and sought not to give reason to exist for any matter. All she wanted was for Ranma to be happy, and she would be the one to kill the first person who harmed him for any reason. That was good enough, and all the more reason to heed the personal warning she delivered in private when Ranma had gone from their sights...

_"If you break his heart...I will break every bone in your body..."_

...and he had given his own in return.

_"If I hear you've upset him in any way, that spatula will be all that is LEFT."_

There was a mutual understanding at that point, and they had tolerated each other. Granted, Ukyo was still sore that Ranma was no longer hers to pursue and shocked that it was Kuno to tame the wild one, but she accepted it and sought not to upset what happiness Ranma managed to find.

That was more than what could be said about the Amazon.

As promised, Mousse did tell Cologne what was going on. As expected, Shampoo did come after Kuno. Granted, like Mousse had predicted on that day, Kuno did kick her ass from here to the other side of town, but she didn't leave...

"Airen!! Shampoo made yummy dish for you!"

She stayed. She stayed and not only sought to make Ranma hers, but Kuno as well. To say that they were shocked shitless was an understatement. Cologne was the one to faint that day, and Mousse nearly died from lack of oxygen. Both amazons could not believe what she planned to do, and no matter what they did there was nothing they could do to change her mind. Kuno sighed silently as Shampoo placed a plate of food before him with a coy smile. This was not what he had planned.

"Shampoo hope is satisfying..."

"I'm sure it is," he replied quietly. "Thank you."

"Is welcome!"

As soon as the purple haired girl had bounced out the room, he shucked the plate of food over the left in the direction of a pervert coming home from a raid. He caught a whiff and was at that plate in a moment, whoofing it all done in seconds and then falling out right after. Ranma giggled from where he sat and Kuno couldn't help but smile.

"That idiot never learns," he sighed.

Happosai was the unknown factor in all of this. He wasn't around until later that day when they had revealed all to the others. When he found out, he was almost as bad as Genma, but in his little perverted head all he could think about was the female Ranma. To say that he was disappointed that Ranma was male and pregnant was just a bit biased. He was devastated...and confused beyond belief. Not to say that they still weren't confused, but Happosai was virtual vegetable every time he tried to contemplate it. Eventually he returned to his annoying self, but was warned (physically) that he was not to mess with Ranma from that point on. He was pretty good about it, but that didn't stop him from trying to cop a feel every now and again.

Thankfully Ranma's hormones always got the better of him and Happosai was sent flying every time.

Ranma rose from where he had been standing and walked over to where Kuno sat. Kuno almost stood up, but stayed seated as Ranma lowered himself into his embrace. He closed his eyes and rested his head on his shoulder, smiling as their unborn child turned about. Kuno's smile widened a little more. It was still a bit hard to believe that this was happening but harder to imagine what life would have been like if it had stuck to the script. Just the thought of what could have been made him shudder inwardly and press a firm hand to the life waiting to be born. A light kick against his palm had him laughing and kissing the top of Ranma's head.

Life was strange...but good at the moment.

"So have you picked something out?" he asked lightly.

Ranma nodded and settled deeper into his embrace. "I want to finish the nursery early..."

"I know...and we'll get it done. Just don't push yourself too much."

"And there they are again," a familiar voice groused playfully in passing. "Twined like rope!"

"Can you blame them?" a second voice laughed. "I'm still trying to find out how he managed to pull it off!"

Ranma laughed against a smirking Kuno as Ryoga and Mousse walked into the living area and sat aside Ukyo. Mousse grabbed the book they were looking at and Ryoga settled onto the table with his eyes fixed on the loving couple. "No, seriously...how did this happen??" he mused lightly. "We were ready to kill a month ago and now...we're all here as if nothing is strange. How did you two hook up??"

"We hooked up over a bottle of Sake and three shots of American whisky," Kuno joked. "The rest is a blur."

"Riiight. If you don't want to tell us then that's fine..."

"Liar."

"Damned strait! Come on already!"

"You never told us how you and Mousse hooked up," he countered. "So why should I tell?"

"....actually...I don't remember how that came to be exactly..." Ryoga pondered. He scratched the back of his head curiously and looked to Mousse in contemplation. "All I know is that one moment we're fighting...and the next we're---mmph!!"

Mousse clamped his hand over Ryoga's mouth a little more forcefully than intended. "No need to give out the gruesome details of THAT night," he muttered. "Believe me, I'm still wondering how it happened and why I'm not the one knocked up. Ow!"

Ryoga smiled faintly even as Mousse lightly scowled at the nip delivered unto his palm. "Sometimes I wonder that myself..."

There was an undertone in their actions, slight but there nonetheless. Mousse seemed to move closer to Ryoga and settled for resting against his side in the end. Ryoga threw an arm around his waist and buried his nose into the thick waves of black silk. They were lost in their thoughts and each other, as they often seemed to be these days. They were the couple NO ONE was looking for and the least expected to out themselves like that. The same could have been said for Kuno and Ranma, but the news of the baby overturned the initial shock that they were together and married already. Somehow they found themselves living in the Tendo household, more than welcome to co-exist with the others dwelling within these walls. Everyone had a strange twist to their lives now, and it was only fitting that the weird stay with the strange.

Kuno turned his head to the sound of humming, watching balefully as Genma Saotome walked past them with a look of glee on his face. It was still completely unsettling to know that he was so happy about this, and more than eager to make sure nothing happened to his son being in his "condition". Every hour upon the hour since finding out about his soon to be grandchild, he checked on Ranma, asking him if he was alright and offering to do whatever was needed at the moment. This was a very different attitude from the one that had been about when Ranma was still arranged to be married to Akane. Before he was demanding, always looking to make Ranma stronger or place him in impossible situations so that he could force himself to be stronger. Yet it was this state of weakness...this state of impossible strength...that had him doing whatever he could for the boy. No normal man could take that he was half woman and live with it as long as Ranma had, but to bear a child? That was something a normal man would have killed himself over.

"How's it going son?" he asked. "Anything you need?"

"No...but could you get some teriyaki from that place across town a little later?" Ranma asked. "I've got a bad craving for some--"

Genma was gone and dragging Soun with him before Ranma could even finish asking. Ranma smirked to himself. "I should have done this along time ago."

Kuno shook his head. He didn't think he could have handled something like this two years ago.

"Have you two found out the sex of the baby yet?" Ukyo asked, breaking their train of thought. "I've been meaning to ask you..."

Kuno and Ranma shook their heads. "I figured that since none of this was planned to happen, why break the cycle?" Ranma answered. "It could be another him..."

"Or another you," Kuno quipped. "Then we'd all be in trouble!"

"Only you, because that child would have you wrapped around his little finger."

"I'll deny it even after I die."

"And just how are you planning to deliver this baby??" Ukyo asked curiously. "Can you even turn into a female Ranma?"

Ranma's cheeks heated up and Kuno coughed into his hand. "Um...I...happen to be...female at the moment..." he mumbled. "And...male..."

Three sets of eyes widened at that admission. "Say wha?!"

"It seems...that both sides combined after conception...at least that's what Cologne said."

Eyes shrank. "Cologne?!"

"....yeah. She's the only one who really knows about the curses and stuff...so...she offered to care for me...with Tofu."

Jaws dropped. "Tofu?! He's a chiropractor!"

"And a licensed OB/GYN as of three months ago," Kuno explained. "He's also well versed with strange oddities and has been Ranma's doctor since the first battles. It was only fitting that he cared for him, especially when it gets to be too much for his back."

"And the kid gets heavier to carry every time I turn about," Ranma mumbled. "And sleeping on the floor is murder..."

"I told you we should move a normal bed in here for when we stay over..."

"I know but this isn't our house..."

"And you shouldn't be sleeping on the floor," Mousse interrupted. "Ranma, if fighting is dangerous for you, what makes you think that sleeping on the floor won't be harmful later on? It isn't good for your back and you need that support. You've got four more months of carrying that kid."

"Come on, Ranma..." Ukyo urged, "...if you're not going to accept the bed then at least stop staying here without some kind of cushioning. We could make a bed of blankets or something else."

Ranma almost nodded, but kept his head up and his gaze on someone who had been relatively quiet for the last few days. Her gaze met his and she swallowed the lump in her throat that formed when she saw where he was seated. No one said anything about it. As much as it was as strange for they themselves to accept it, it was a bit harder on her...especially since Genma had totally voiced the thoughts of everyone that day. It was a blow to her massive ego, breaking off a piece of a stable wall that she had managed to build through the mayhem. That wall was being built again with different cementing, but it would never be the same. In a blink of an eye she was no longer engaged to Ranma Saotome and defeated by the one man she never thought would best her at **anything**.

It still puzzled her more than anything or anyone...how she was still sane.

"What's going on?" she asked lightly. "What's this about a bed?"

"We were talking about Ranma sleeping on the floor when we stay over," Ryoga tossed in her direction. "It's hard on his back but he's too stubborn to let us bring him a bed."

"Ranma! You should be taking better care of yourself! You should have said something..."

"But it's NOT my house!" Ranma argued. "How would that look if I just had a bed placed in here like that??"

"But you've been living here for years now...so how is it not your house??"

"It was supposed to be...but that changed when the arrangement was broken. Besides," he murmured lightly, "I don't want to cause you any more trouble."

"You IDIOT!!" Akane snapped. "You haven't cause anyone any more trouble than usual and considering all that we've been through, a BED isn't asking much. Stop worrying about everyone else and worry about that kid of yours. I mean...after all," she sighed lightly, "The kid's mother has to be in good health...and considering who her parents are, I think you'd better be prepared for backbreaking work trying to run after him." She smile a little at the last part, giggling at the images of Ranma and Kuno chasing after a rowdy and rampant two year old strung out on candy Happosai gave him. Knowing this house, the kid would have been on the walls trying to kick the shit out of the pervert at six months. "So stop worrying about it...a bed is nothing. I mean...you are planning to place a nursery here so Kasumi, Nabiki, And I can baby sit, right?"

There was a soft hitch of breath that lingered in the air, and then nothing more than a muffled sniffle. Kuno blinked silently at his lover's quiet trembling. What...

"Oi, Ranma, What the hell?!" Happosai leapt into the room, waving an item of clothing about freely as he placed himself in the center of the room. "How's about watching were you dump your laundry eh?! I found these in my collection and I KNOW I don't collect boxers!"

"Those look a little big to be Ranma's," Ukyo mused lightly. "Are you sure..."

"Of course I'm sure! And just because he's toting about the spawn of an idiot doesn't mean that his ass will stay skinny." Happosai snorted under a dry laugh holding up the underwear in question. "From the looks of it, I say the expansion has upped him at least two sizes....Gives new term to the name 'Fatass'..."

Everyone, and I do mean **_everyone_**, stared at him in complete disbelief. That sniffle, the small one that no one seemed to notice or mid when Akane was talking, quickly made itself loud and clear.

"....You....think....I'm...FAT??"

"And lazy...well, lazier but not as lazy as your father. Shit, I hope you don't end up looking like him at the end of this...." he said as an afterthought, "but...I wonder if you'll grow man tities...."

Ranma was up and gone in a blink of an eye. Happosai watched him go, scratching his head thoughtfully. Probably had to go to the bathroom...

There was a sudden rumble, and a loud curse before the floor trembled in the wake of a hormonal overload. The others swiftly scrambled out of the way as Ranma stopped back into the room with tears in his eyes. Happosai only had a second to ponder that look on his face.

*THWAK!!!*

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

There was a brief moment of silence where everyone winced. Ranma stomped off again, this time with Kuno running after him. Ukyo, Ryoga, Mousse, and Akane gawked at the hole in the wall.

No...not the walls of the house.

"Well...I suppose they were destined to meet," Ryoga smirked lightly. "Happosai, and the broad side of a concrete wall..."

"They seem to be committed to the other already," Ukyo sighed, a smile playing at her lips. "It's a good match...a good match indeed."

"Is...Ranma going to be okay?" Akane asked to no one in particular. She and the others winced at the loud wailing coming from close by, and shrank at the shrill piercing their ears not a second later. "He's...taking this really hard..."

Everyone readily agreed with the pots and pans chasing after Kuno and a scream claiming that he was a fatass and would be too fat to raise their kid right and "who the hell are you to patronize me?!"...amongst other things. It was then decided that it was going to be a long...

*THWACK!* "OW!!"

...LONG...

"How can you even stand to look at me?! I hate you!!"

"Oh come on!! Even if I didn't love you, WHICH I DO, I'd never leave you over that!"

"So now YOU'RE LEAVING ME?!"

"NO!!"

...VERY LONG...

"WHY?! Because you feel guilty about knocking me up?!"

"No, that's not it!!"

"So you don't love our baby?!?!"

"No! I mean, yes... I mean....aw shit, RANMA!!"

*SMACK*

"BASTARD!!"

....four months.

Kuno swore silently to himself and eyed the little man glued to the far wall of the outside. As soon as his concussion was gone, that idiot was going to pay...

"I'm going home...and I'D BETTER NOT SEE YOU THERE ANYTIME SOON!!"

...dearly.

* * *

It took about three hours of leaving him alone for things to calm themselves back to a somewhat-but-not-quite-so-normal-but-what the-hell-is-anymore-these-days level. After the swelling of the knot in his head had gone down, he decided to pick himself up and try and salvage what that idiot had destroyed in a matter of minutes. How the hell did that happen anyhow?! It was best not to dwell on it, though it did help to pace a bit when he was thinking to himself. Yes, it was good to pace...a nice long thoughtful pace that would wear a hole in the very floor he treaded on.

"Tatawaki??"

Only one person in this entire town ever called him by his first name. It was definitely not his mother. Without so much as a warning his arms were full of the young man he had managed to snatch in the middle of chaos for himself and nearly lost not once but twice!! The first was his own stupidity, of that he would hold no blame to anyone but himself, but the second time was completely uncalled for. He ground his foot into the floor a little to better hold himself and his lover up, now a little heavier with their unborn child nestled soundly between them. He didn't have to understand the sobbing to know what he was saying. He understood perfectly and wisely chose to keep his mouth shut for the better half of the crying. There was no use in trying to put his two cents in. Oh no. It would have gotten him killed and then he would have had to pace the floor a little more. Not that there was anything wrong with that. He just didn't want to do it while trying to come up with a way to bring his lover some peace of mind over this.

"--and anyway I'm sorry about throwing the pans at you!"

"Ranma...it's fine. I know you were upset...."

"I know...but I don't want you to leave me!! Please...I need you!!"

"Ranma you idiot," he whispered fondly, "I worked my ass off just to make you mine. Why the hell would I give that up?!"

Ranma hiccupped and wiped at his eyes. It was then that Kuno fully pulled him into his embrace, settling back on the balls of his hells to lift him up a bit. Ranma fully settled into his embrace, smiling against the light kisses placed on his brow. "I love you, and I'm not going anywhere."

"...you promise?"

"I promise."

That was enough to get the tears to stop. Kuno sighed in relief inwardly. At least that was over.

"Honey?"

"Yes dear?"

"You seem a bit...taller..."

He blinked once in confusion, twice the longer he thought about it. "I do?"

"Yeah...I kind of like it..."

"Must be the new shoes."

"Could be. Oh, be sure to wipe them off before we go home, okay? I see you've got a little gunk on the bottom of them."

Kuno looked down and scuffed his shoe a little one the lumpy carpet ignoring the indignant moan of protest coming from it. "I was pacing for a bit. Might have picked it up in the process." He shrugged and planted his heels a little more firmly into the makeshift carpet, wiping off his shoe absently while his lover giggled against him.

"Oi, Kuno are you still breaking in the new carpet?!" Ryoga asked passing by idly. "I thought you would have given up by now!"

"Too many lumps...."

"You try hanging it out and beating the shit out of it with a stick?"

He held up the remnants of a bat and chucked it outside. "This seems to be working. Don't worry, I'll stop in a moment."

Ryoga grunted at this and shook his head as he walked off. "RIGHT."

"What?" he asked as innocently as he could muster when Ranma started laughing aloud. "I can't very well just take it back to the store..."

"No, I suppose not," he said through his giggle fit. "but you could toss it away."

"I could...but it's such a nice thing to walk on. No...I think I'll keep walking on it a little while longer thank you."

Ranma didn't protest, but the carpet did. For that he stomped the biggest lump down into the floor and said nothing else of it. Nope. He was however, going to do a lot of thinking tonight...a lot a pacing. Yeah. A whole lot.

* * *

TBC...

Yes...the carpet was Happosai. And I warned you that this would be WEIRD! ^-^


End file.
